You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
