ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
