I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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