I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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