i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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