Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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