508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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