I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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