its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
