Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
