I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
