4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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