i'm signing you up for texting rehab
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i will never coherently bang her
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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