Your favorite bartender is back from prision
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
