so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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