I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
