I seem to have left my pride at pride
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
