Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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