I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize