that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
