Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
