Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
