Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
