I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
