therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I supernannyed him into submission
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
