yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
