Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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