You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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