So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize