I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
be right there i have to get my cape
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
