You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
