STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
