I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
