you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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