I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
