I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
