apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize