Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
