I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
