it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
