He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize