honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
