Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize