Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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