She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
