Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
