I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
