Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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