I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
