My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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