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accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
