went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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