god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
