worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So gin and wine won't be happening again
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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