That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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