maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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