Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
