is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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